toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
