Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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