you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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