We're facebook friends in real life
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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