All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
