I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Randomize
