Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
