Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
