An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
