i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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