Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
