i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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