I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
