I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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