I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
