Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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