We won't sleep together?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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