So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
