Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
