Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
