After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize