she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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