Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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