Duck Duck Cougar?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You're earring is so big in my mouth
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
