This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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