Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think people are normalizing furries
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize