the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
