He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
