GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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