i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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