you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
