they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize