a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
