im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
i out mim tonsoeep
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