hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
