Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Michael Bay diarrhea
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
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