Your tits are I can't wait for
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
