I cockslap morals
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
