question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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