Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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