C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
