just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
