The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
