i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
