Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
