is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
