That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
