i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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