guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
you traded sex for a burrito?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
