the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
