Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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