tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
