My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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