I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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