then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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